I knew before she was even born that my daughter was going to be a stubborn, feisty one. When she refused to turn from a breech position to head down, no matter what I did (and I tried everything), I knew this was a girl with a mind of her own. Boy, was I right! She won’t do things until she is good and ready. No matter how much we push her, she won’t do anything until the day she decides she wants to.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised when all of her little friends began walking and running, and she didn’t. She doesn’t even crawl but has found a very effective way of scooting on her butt that involves rotating her hips from side to side (and rubbing holes in her pants in the process). She’s mobile, and it works for her. Why mess with a good thing, right?

It’s cute, but I want her to walk.

I’ve always played it off like it’s no big deal. Like it doesn’t bother me that my 20-month-old isn’t walking yet. But of course it upsets me. No one wants to see their child falling behind the curve, even if you believe they will eventually catch up.

I know there are no medical issues. I understand she’s just taking her time. In the grand scheme of things, this really isn’t that big. With the help of physical therapy through Early Intervention, she’s progressing beautifully and is well on her way to walking. One day soon she will walk, and then she will run. She’s healthy. She’s happy. She’s strong. She’s incredibly social and too smart for her own good. She loves to do somersaults and downward dog. She loves to go up and down the stairs.

She just doesn’t walk. She’s stubborn. She’ll do it when she wants to.

As positive as I am about the work we are putting in, I’m still sad that things aren’t quite right with my baby. Now, know that I’m not complaining. This is a fixable solution with a lot of hard work, but I also really just want her to walk. It’s such a joy to watch a little one learning to walk, run, and jump. It hurts to see her sitting on the sidelines, unable to keep up.

On the bright side, for every one obnoxious comment I’ve received about the fact that my 20-month-old isn’t walking (people have no boundaries!) I’ve gotten 20 supportive and helpful comments. I’ve had so many moms, dads, babysitters, friends, and even other kids trying to help her walk. Everyone encourages her and tries to push her along. They hold her hands and walk with her. They hold toys to entice her. They clap and cheer when she stands on her own. They go crazy when she attempts a few tentative steps by herself. Everyone wants to see her succeed.

We are so lucky to have resources like Early Intervention. She’s getting there. We are all working hard to get her there. One day she’ll do it, and then I know we won’t be able to keep up. She is going to be just a blur chasing after her brother and friends. In the meantime, she’s definitely having fun trying!

I know that in the near future, this setback will just be a blip in our parenting journey. If you have found yourself in the same boat (panic Googling “my 20-month-old isn’t walking!”) and think your child may be falling behind the curve, first know that it’s OK. They all hit milestones in their own time. Stop the comparison game — it’s just no good. Second, ask for help! Ask your doctor what services are available to you. Ask your friends and family for help. Finally, be proud of what your child can do and does do. They are yours, and they are truly amazing, no matter when they hit their milestones.

This article was written in 2015 and has been updated for 2024.