A few years ago my daughter read a book about kids not much older than herself going away to summer camp. Her eyes widened with the knowledge of this new and wondrous idea. “Mom, is summer camp real?!” she all but screamed across the room at me. “Kids just get to go play in the woods for weeks at a time?”
After several confirmations that yes, sleepaway summer camps do, in fact, exist, she made up her mind. She wanted to be a summer camp kid. As a family, we agreed that the summer after third grade could be her first year going to a sleepaway camp. We researched dozens of camps, visited many, and finally chose the perfect place for her.
As summer inched closer and invitations for various birthday parties and playdates and day camps came in, we reached out to decline those that would fall during her time away. The reactions from other parents were interesting. Many parents were generally curious and intrigued that at 9 years old my daughter was so excited and emotionally ready for an extended time away from home.
But, there was another common reaction that stood out to me every time.
“You only get 18 summers with her! Aren’t you sad to be giving one of those up?”
As mothers, we know our time with our children as children is precious and fleeting. We do not need to be reminded of that fact with a doomsday countdown in terms of number of summers or Saturdays or milestones we have left to experience. Our kids deserve the opportunity to have their own experiences without feeling as if they owe their limited summers as children to us, their parents. My job as a mother is to prepare my child for adulthood. But it is also to give them the gift of their childhood.
While yes, I only get 18 summers with my children as children, they only get 18 summers to be children. Childhood summers are precious and few. And theirs do not belong to me.
Summer is a time of freedom and growth. As a child I spent countless summer afternoons roaming the neighborhood with friends, finding ways to entertain ourselves on seemingly endless hot days. We used our imaginations, worked together to make plans or come up with games, and resolved conflicts that arose. These were formative experiences that helped me grow as both a friend and as an individual. We came home for the day when the streetlights came on and not a minute before.
Our children deserve the same kind of age-appropriate independence. Let them roam. Let them seek adventure. And know that while yes, these 18 summers will go quickly, our children will undoubtedly look back on them with gratitude for the days they were allowed to just be children.
