After breastfeeding my first son for 14 months, I was pretty sure I’d mastered the whole breastfeeding gig. Plugged ducts? Bad latches? Pumping? Teeth? Check, check, check, check. I was a pro.

Ha.

My younger son is going on 22 months and holding on for dear life. And although I’m so grateful to have been able to nurse him for so long, breastfeeding an almost-2-year-old is a whole new ball game. Recently, there have been some signs that it may be time to move on…

10. He “shares” with his stuffed animals.

And dolls. And makes satisfied “drinking” noises. At least he’s generous?

9. Which side he nurses from has become a negotiation.

“Da!” (points). “No honey, you had that one earlier, how about the other?”

8. Your well-endowed sister-in-law is forced to flee your house due to excessive groping.

He was so excited to see her. She was thrilled. Then she picked him up and it devolved quickly… I think she’s still recovering.

7. He swats your coffee out of the way to see the TV better.

OK, kid. You can have Daniel Tiger or the boob. Choose one.

6. You have frequent arguments about whether he can have “fridge milk” or “mommy milk.”

Somebody please suggest some better terms, because, “fridge milk”? It’s not OK.

5. He stops nursing to steal a bite of your pizza.

Just popped right off, took the piece out of my hand, took a bite, and went back to nursing. Ummm…

4. His older brother loudly announces in public, “I think he wants boobs.”

At the mechanic. Thanks, buddy.

3. On more than one occasion he has tried to sneakily test out whether dad’s work the same way.

My husband is not amused.

2. He’s started to help himself.

I am definitely not amused.

1. He insists you wear a superhero mask while feeding him.