It’s that magical time of year. The first day of school is behind us, school supplies have been purchased, and schedules are all worked out. We have settled back into our school year routines and have found a nice flow to our schedules, all melded together as a family.

Sure, there’s a ton of work that goes into those schedules as mom ensures everyone is able to attend their after-school activities and have time for homework. But it’s manageable, and I feel ready for this school year! Those overwhelming pre-back-to-school emotions settle into a more manageable “full plate” feeling.

But then the notices start to come home from our schools and teams and clubs. There’s one from the PTO asking for volunteers to run the fall fun party. Another asking for room parents and library volunteers. As I am talking myself out of those, my email pings and it’s from the town soccer club — they need volunteers to coach or they can’t run the season fully. And as I am ready to forward that along to my husband, I get a Facebook notification asking for leaders for the local Girl Scout troop.

I am in full volunteer fatigue mode.

I feel guilty that if no one steps up, the kids might not have various opportunities. I feel frustrated that it seems to fall on the same parents who constantly help. I feel overwhelmed as I piece my schedule together, giving my time to make sure my kids get what they want even if it takes time away from what I like to do. And to top it all off, there are organizations I want to volunteer for myself. Groups like Relay for Life and NAGLY have done so much for my family and others, and I feel compelled to give back there.

But I can’t volunteer full time. It’s just not in the cards.

In my 19 years of parenting (and volunteering) I have spread myself really thin, and I have learned that I have boundaries. I will volunteer for ONE event at the elementary school. I will show up, help out, and then leave. I will fundraise for Relay for Life. I will help to run our town’s Girl Scouts.

But there needs to be a line. And yet, no matter how emphatically I draw that line, I end up moving it.

Because… mom guilt.

I don’t want to be the reason a soccer team doesn’t get to play every week. I can’t be the reason the girls don’t get to experience Girl Scouts. I won’t be the reason my child’s teacher doesn’t feel fully supported at every school event. Even if I know it isn’t only up to me.

So I will continue to take small pieces of larger jobs. I will continue to skip all PTO meetings in favor of reading the notes afterward. I will let someone else manage the sport I have never played. I will trust in my community to pick up what I cannot.  

As much as we all want to be a “Venmo Mom,” I would ask everyone who is able to take one small piece of a larger volunteer job. Sometimes, that small piece can take a load off someone else’s shoulders. And if you are on a board, or you lead the PTO, or you’re planning an event, consider breaking jobs down into smaller pieces.

Then maybe, just maybe, moms like me can be involved without losing ourselves in volunteer fatigue.