It has been four solid years since I had my first baby. Most families with multiple children seem to have them fairly close together — some aim for 18 months apart, others go for a two-year gap or maybe three. So I was not surprised when my family became the outlier. You see, trying for our second child came with a lot of anxiety. I didn’t have the easiest childbirth with my son. Or, more accurately, it was a total disaster.

I went into labor with high hopes for a vaginal birth, but 15 hours later we were faced with dropping heart rates, internal monitoring, and the need for an emergency C-section. After the birth, my baby and I were both faced with infection, and my son had several instances of silent vomiting, requiring us to give him our full and nonstop attention. Following the choking on amniotic fluid, which gave him a bluish grey hue for his first 24 hours of life, came days of struggling with nursing, trying to acclimate myself to motherhood, and caring for the baby and myself after surgery. My body was exhausted. My mind was exhausted.

Putting the scary and traumatic labor story aside, the past four years have been the most life-changing, wonderful adventure with our son. We have been able to grow together as a family, spending precious time caring for him and each other. He has taught me so much. Wise beyond his years, my son has influenced my own personal goals to be the person I am today.

After giving ourselves those four years to heal, adjust and prepare for the experience again, I thought it would be easy to try for a second child. But it took nearly a year — and one chemical miscarriage — to conceive. Now, 18 weeks into the pregnancy, we are thrilled at the prospect of a new addition to our family.

But my anxiety about childbirth has not decreased. I’m working daily to manage the stress, calm my nerves, and prepare for whatever comes our way. I know I’m not the only one who feels anxiety about childbirth, C-sections, and the postpartum period. So I’d like to share a few ideas other women have recommended to me to attempt to overcome my anxieties.

Yoga

There is a lot to be said for something as simple as breathing and mentally preparing for major surgery. Most prenatal yoga classes include poses and stretches to open the pelvis and prepare the body for childbirth. I will be using this method for both exercise, mental preparation, and clarity of thought.

Faith

I am not an especially devout or religious person, but I do believe in the power of prayer — to whatever idol or spiritual being suits you. It is another way to mentally acknowledge your fears, think about potential scenarios and ways you will face them, and ask for good energy to come your way.

Trust

I trust my doctor 100%. I am fortunate to be cared for by a high-risk specialist. He was very thoughtful in the way he delivered my son safely in a tense moment. This time around, we have discussed how my previous situation was basically the worst case scenario. Together, we decided to take the route of a planned C-section for my second birth.

Support

This is one of the most important factors in easing my fears. I lean on my husband, parents, and close friends to provide me with their support. I can share with them openly how I feel about having another C-section — and they listen. It is a way to express and work through my fears.

Preparation

Looking back on my days as an athlete, mental preparation is just as important as physical preparation. This takes time and practice, and I hope to get there sooner than later. I am working on visualizing the day of childbirth, how my body and mind will react, potential factors and risks, and — most importantly, visualizing a positive outcome by crossing the finish line.