Just when you thought it might be possible to use the internet without being shamed, the moms of TikTok are here with a new and surprisingly absurd way to guilt parents around the world. How are we screwing our kids up this week? With “hurried child syndrome,” apparently. 

The kicker here is that this “syndrome” is not at all what the headlines would lead you to believe. It has nothing to do with rushing your kids out the door on a busy morning. (If it were, my kids would be irrevocably damaged by now.)

Hurried child syndrome was originally coined in 1981 by a child psychologist in a book called “The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast, Too Soon.” The “hurried” the author refers to does not mean rushing from activity to activity or eating breakfast in the car on the way to school. (Again, my children would be SO damaged.) The book discusses unreasonable expectations of emotional and intellectual capabilities in young children — for instance, the higher kindergarten expectations so many families are being confronted with today.

So why are the moms of social media suddenly panicking about a condition that has been on the medical world’s radar for more than 40 years? In July, Dr. Laura Cook went on the Edit Alaverdyan podcast and claimed that telling kids to “hurry up” leads to increased rates of anxiety in children and young adults.

Because nothing will lead to calmer, more relaxed parenting than telling parents — who are already overburdened with wildly unrealistic work, family caretaking, and social and wellness expectations — that their busy schedules are also causing lifelong mental health damage to their children.

But, never a place for nuanced takes, the internet took the headline and ran with it. There are now countless reels, tweets, threads, and posts about the damage rushing your children from place to place will undoubtedly cause. To these content creators I ask, what is the alternative? How would parents ever make it anywhere on time if we followed our children’s lead in the morning?

Children need to learn that the world does not revolve around their (or my) schedule. Arriving somewhere prepared and on time is not only a life skill but a universal sign of respect. But, what place does logic have when the ability to shame parents for clicks exists?

I am so tired of being told that simply having to live life is damaging my children. This week it is “hurried child syndrome.” Last week it was “intensive parenting.” Last month the Surgeon General told the country that life in America is damaging parents and kids alike. There are lots of takes online about what we are doing wrong, but little advice on how to live real life right.

I am a mom, doing my best and trying to get my kids to school on time. So, if you told your kids to hurry up this morning, know that I’m right there with you. And so are all the rest of the moms, too.